Below is a series of scientifically crafted questions to determine just how pervy you are. Answer Truthfully! Copy, paste and embolden your responses in a separate post. See how you rate on the PervPoll! Feel free to forward this enlightening quiz to friends and grandmothers ('cause if that's not a pervy old lady for ya, we don't know what is). Tested and Perv-approved by morethanclever ^_^
You've caught yourself staring at and fantasizing about boys nearly half your age.
* You buried your guilt with instant denial and rationalized that your feelings are wrong.
* You secretly giggled when you heard other ladies perv, but never joined in.
* You immediately hopped on the net to find out who else shared your perversion.
You've actually salivated over a particularly delicious pik.
* You gave his cheek a chaste and modest peck.
* You giggled while giving those moist still-life lipless a full kiss.
* You put some tongue in it -- and you've got a damp paper and a spit-streaked screen to prove it.
You've rehearshed what you would say should you ever happen to meet said stud.
* "It's great to finally meet!"
* "Wow. That's quite a grip you got there, tiger."
* "I'm your biggest fan -- I've seen all your work!"
You've heard someone say something derrogatory about the one you lust.
* You silently chalk it up to their ignorance because it's a petty thing to fight over.
* You ease into a conversation and use your stunning debate skills to try to smoothly win them over.
* You go into full Counter-Attack Mode and launch a defensive strike.
You -- and very pissed off significant other -- heard the Other Man's name slip from your lips while in bed.
* You came on a powerful wave of ecstasy -- and a vivid image of your sweaty fantasy lover.
* You knew very well what you were doing and was trying to push buttons.
* It was just a simple, harmless dream -- though there was nothing simple nor harmless about it.
You've started relationships based on how similiar he looked to your dreamboat.
* That's how we struck up an aquaintance. I asked if he'd ever had anyone tell him that he looked just like So-and-So.
* Well, more like So-and-So's third cousin twice removed -- and I was actually attracted more to his personality.
* I asked him if he knew who I was. When he answered no, I asked him if he'd like to know what he was missing.
You've woken up all a-tingle and with no one to share it with.
* You took a quick, cold and distracting shower.
* You took a long, hot and vigorously engrossing shower.
* Your friend Bob (battery operated boyfriend) suddenly dropped by.
You've caught yourself doodling when you should be hard at work.
* You drew your name and his in hearts and made smiley faces.
* You wrote out a list of precious boy and girl names for your imaginery kids.
* You found one daydream led to another -- and suddenly you've got five new hyphenated last names.
You've been busted by your significant other for having files chock full of boytoy pix.
* You laugh and reassure him that he's the only one.
* You get indignant and bring up the Playboys stashed not too discreetly under the bed.
* You smile and coyly ask, "Feel threatened much?"
You've wondered what you would change about your dreamguy if given the chance.
* Nothing. He's 100% absolutely perfect. I wouldn't change a thing.
* Trivial things: his hairstyle, clothing, grooming.
* His age. His name. His place of residency.
You've gone to see your studs newest flick (if your stud's not an actor, it won't count against you).
* You smile to yourself everytime the boy has screen time.
* You cat call, whistle, and generally annoy those around you.
* You sit in the very front row, so that you will be able to hump the screen at just the right moment.
You've figured out the perfect fantasy scenario for the two of you.
* Warm sunshine dances in his hair as you picnic in a lush green field.
* Satin sheets tickle your skin as he places kisses all over your body.
* Cool water laps your bodies as he mercilessly pounds you after a quick skinny dip.
-- Got a delicious fantasy that won't leave you even after you wake?
-- Ever contemplate scenarios which found you and the lust of your life trapped in steamy situations?
-- Do you consider "UST" fic warnings a personal challenge?
-- Are James, Oliver and Rupert now the sexiest names you've ever heard?
Pervy Old Ladies Want to Know ^_^